The Secret to Finding Happiness

A Lifetime Quest

We all want to be happy. In every waking moment, and sometimes while asleep, we strive to be happy. The problem is that we don’t know what happiness is.

We think that we know what happiness is. We define what happiness is for ourselves, and then we strive to obtain whatever that is. We believe that happiness is defined by what we want out of life. The problem with that is that what we want out of life is not what makes us happy.


Some people seek wealth. They spend their lives striving to make more and more money, buy more and more property, and try to have all the things that they have desired to have in life. Many think that the American dream of owning a home will make them happy. Those who fall into this category who never reach their goal are then unhappy for not having obtained wealth. However, those who obtain the wealth they were seeking, are unhappy because they have reached the top of the mountain, only to feel as though that there is nowhere to go. With no happiness magically manifesting in their lives, the feeling of emptiness takes over, and they learn that money cannot buy happiness.


Some seek popularity. Being popular seems to have its perks. I remember not being the popular guy in school, and it seemed that the popular guys were always surrounded by friends. But, in the end, what does fame and popularity get you? Being famous or popular is not what it appears to be from the outside. Think about it. If everyone likes you because you are popular, then you are constantly being watched. You have no privacy. That lack of privacy forces you to create a personae that is not necessarily who you really are in order to maintain that popularity. In the end, famous and popular people are usually very unhappy. They find that the people who follow them are not friends, but are people who also desire to be popular, thinking it will bring them happiness. Many times famous and extremely popular people turn to drugs or commit suicide because they cannot deal with the stress. Being popular is usually the opposite of happiness.



Now the topic of friendship is a tough one, because it can easily be associated with the previous topic of popularity; however, the friendship that I am referring to here is true friendship. I will not deny that having true friends can make you feel happy, but I do not believe that having friends is overall what makes you happy. Because, if you base happiness on friendships then you would be unhappy whenever that friendship fades, or when that friend is not longer a part of your life. Therefore, although friendship can make you feel happy, it is not true happiness.

So, what is happiness?

Happiness is not a person, not a place, nor a thing. Happiness is a state of mind. If you tell yourself that you are happy, you can be happy. If you focus on the good things in life that you have, no matter how much bad has happened to you, you can be happy. Happiness is a decision to be happy. 

Sometimes bad things happen to us, but that does not mean that all of those things should make us unhappy. Sometimes we need the bad to wake us up to the good. Sometimes we need the bad to help us see an area in our lives that needs changing. And, sometimes the bad is just bad, and we should try not to dwell on those times. We should accept that we don’t live in a perfect world and move on with our lives.

Don’t worry; be happy!

Bobby McFerrin’s song “Don’t Worry Be Happy” says it all. When you worry and always think about the things that are bad in your life, you will be unhappy because you focus on the bad. If you focus on the good things in your life, no matter what, you can always be happy.

In order to help myself and others to focus on good things, I created a journal called Count Your Blessings Journal: Daily Blessings and published it on Amazon KDP. I have provided a link to the book below in case you decide you would like a copy. As a disclaimer, I want you to know that should you purchase the book that I will receive a commission for the sale. If you decide not to purchase my journal, I won’t be unhappy about it. The journal is simply a book of lined pages where you can dedicate writing down the good things that happen to you. While you don’t necessarily need a journal to do this, it helps to dedicate happiness its own space in your life. This aids in focusing on the good, and eliminating the bad from the forefront of your mind. Write down all of the good things, and read it when you feel unhappiness creeping in. 

Count Your Blessings Journal: Daily Blessings
Count Your Blessings Journal: Daily Blessings [Johnson, Jeffrey] on Amazon.com. *FREE* shipping on qualifying offers…kdp.amazon.com


The secret to finding happiness is not in material things. It is not even found completely in the friendships that we have, although the friendships that we do have are a part of the good things in life. When we focus on the good things in life, and not the bad, then our minds are in a positive, happy state. Instead of the proverbial glass being half-empty, the glass is half-full. Don’t worry; be happy!

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